Boys Becoming Men: The Truth About Male Mental Health

Blog from Putting Men Back Into Mental Health Care

From a young age, boys are told over and over that they need to be “big”, and “tough” and exhibit a certain measure of interest in particularly “masculine” hobbies and goals in order to become successful and respected men.

However, this amount of expectation leaves little room for nuance, for boys (and by extension men) to discover who they truly are and what they want out of life. In many ways, this causes men to run the risk of missing out on a variety of paths and opportunities that can lead to a more authentic and fulfilling sense of self.

Think about your own deep feelings and what really guides your passions. The stereotypical man is supposed to love sports, cars, and hunting trips — and while that is great and true for many men, you may be more interested in something more aligned with your own need for personal expression, such as cooking, the arts, or even tabletop gaming.

The fact is that men face many issues that often go unaddressed — from relationship issues, to class and cultural struggles, to living with a mental illness. But without access to proper resources, men are struggling to stay afloat within the far out waters that makes them feel alone and silenced.

Henry Nelson Case talks extensively about this, sharing his own story in a deeply personal TEDx talk, “Breaking the Silence: Why Men Need to Talk About Their Mental Health”.

According to case studies, men are three times more likely to turn to solitary drinking and drug use. However, escapism looks different for everyone — from gambling, to video games, to porn, or even work.

It may come as a surprise to learn that approximately one million men on average suffer from depression on an annual basis, according to the Canadian Men’s Health Foundation. However, only 30% of men wind up seeking mental health care.

In our nation alone, suicide is considered the second-leading cause of death among people between the ages of 15 and 34, according to the Government of Canada. Of these stats, it’s men who are three times more likely to attempt and complete suicide over women.

So, where does this support need to come from? Where can men go if they are seeking help, but don’t know where to turn?

For many men, this can feel like an overwhelming question with no clear answer.

This is where establishing community comes into play. It is important for men to seek out validation and growth through the support of male-centered initiatives (such as Men’s Health Week and Movember), but especially in community with each other.

The kinship bonds men are able to build with each other through shared interests and outlooks is a great example of this, but simply forming a sense of brotherhood shouldn’t stop at the surface level.

Creating a space that encourages mutual conversations around success, goal-setting, personal fulfillment, and problem solving can go much deeper than what we typically think of in the stereotypical context of what a man “needs to be” in order to thrive or be accepted. Reaching out when you are struggling, or checking in with a friend or loved one who you suspect might be struggling, can do a world of good.

As the mental health landscape evolves to fit contemporary needs, it is more important than ever that men find community, whether it be in ideas or in interests. As with any form of support, acceptance, understanding, and solidarity go a long way.

Did you know we’re offering a men’s group in honour of Men’s Health Month? Numbers are limited, so don’t miss out! Click here to learn more!