The Silent Burden of Being Left Behind
Blog from Putting Men Back Into Mental Health Care
“Boys will be boys” — but what does that mean in our modern society?
The idea of toxic masculinity has received a lot of attention in the last few years, highlighting unhealthy traits men and young boys have been encouraged to embrace for as long as anyone can remember — from aggressive, hyper-independent behaviour, to the suppression of sensitive emotions for fear of being perceived as weak.
But what happens when men simply aren’t allowed to be men in today’s age, where self-expression is widely celebrated and authenticity has become a defining factor in many people’s lives — especially among a younger generation?
The world is changing and much-needed conversations are happening. People are opening up more about their mental health struggles, popular culture embraces the exploration of healing trauma and the promotion of self care, and some companies are prioritizing and investing in wellness and mental health initiatives for the benefit of their employees working in a high-stress environment.
Yet when it comes to mental health, many men feel trapped between a rock and a hard place — a space between participating in the conversation and being shunned from the conversation altogether.
Many men are conditioned from a young age to set aside everything that makes them a vulnerable target. While men often thrive on being providers and natural problem-solvers, many are also saddled with the expectation that the only way for them to succeed is through brute strength, unchallenged authority, and a readiness to take on any obstacle — and win at all costs. Too many men have grown up in an environment that teaches them that to express any emotion that displays a modicum of vulnerability is regarded as “weak”.
When men aren’t allowed to open up in vulnerable ways and find support with each other, this translates into deep-seated suppression in ways that contribute to the development of unhealthy coping strategies — such as addiction, social withdrawal, and physical or emotional violence.
If this sounds familiar, then you are in good company. So many men are expected to be strong, silent, independent pillars of the community. But no one can deny that men are more complex than that.
Men’s mental health matters. By dismantling old and outdated beliefs around masculinity, we can encourage men to step forward and be honest about the help they need, without judgment, nor shame.
Did you know we’re offering a four-session men’s group in honour of Men’s Health Month? Numbers are limited, so don’t miss out! Click here to learn more.