Peering Through the Window of Tolerance

It goes without saying that everybody handles stress differently. But what you might not realize is how people individually react to stress that provides a window into navigating the healing aspects of your mental health journey.

Imagine you are on a roller coaster. So far, everything feels good — the track beneath your car is smooth and steady. You can see everything ahead of you no problem. The world around you is visible as far as the eye can see.

While on this steady track, things might feel uncomfortable as you feel the roller coaster train start to rise or dip along small inclines — but it’s no sweat because you know you’re safe. Concern may cross your mind and fill your heart and thoughts, but while on this track, you know you’re having a good time, and regardless of what may come, the ride will come to an end and everything will be alright.

In this moment, you know that there is total control in how you come to face these fluctuations between worry, joy, and calmness. The people around you are laughing and talking, and the sounds of the amusement park around you fill your ears as you find yourself fully engaged with this, just one of many attractions you’ve enjoyed so far today.

What you have just experienced is one of the many ways mindfulness helps us manage a threshold for stress.

Author and UCLA clinical professor of psychiatry Dan Siegel refers to this threshold as the ‘Window of Tolerance’, a framework that measures a person’s ability to conceptualize momentary thoughts and feelings in a way that actively engages self awareness.

All of us experience a window of tolerance, which constantly fluctuates like an internal Richter scale, depending on external influences or internal conflicts we face regularly in day-to-day living — such as meeting a strict deadline at work, being cut off in the middle of busy commuter traffic, or navigating personal reflections of who we are, based on our own perceived strengths, weaknesses, and comparisons to the people around us.

When this happens, it’s important to consider that everyone’s window of tolerance is different. For people living with PTSD, their window of tolerance is often much narrower in scope. This means when a trauma-related trigger occurs, stress levels can spike or plummet much more quickly (like a whiplash effect that takes more care and effort to stabilize) than someone who may be able to face similar triggers at a different or smoother pace.

However, like a real life Richter scale, sometimes things can go waaaaay off the charts, depending on the level of stress we are experiencing at the moment.

During this, we exceed the boundaries of our window of tolerance and enter into one of two states — hypoarousal or hyperarousal, impacting our ability to function and interact with the world around us with a sense of clarity.

When the stress peaks past the window of tolerance into hyperarousal, it’s like being the passenger in a loudly-revving sports car, ready to impulsively take off without a moment’s notice. In this state, our sympathetic system, which regulates our stress response, is activated.

During this event, our blood pressure rises as thoughts become racing and chaotic. A feeling of overwhelm takes over, which can often manifest as anxiety, rage, or hypervigilance (being on the lookout for danger). In addition, the ability to ground and learn things isn’t possible as a result of derealization, a frame of mind that feels disconnected from our thoughts and feelings, almost like an out-of-body experience.
This is also known as a person’s fight or flight response.

On the other end of the spectrum is hypoarousal. This happens when a person’s stress levels become so high that fight or flight isn’t effective. This is when a person shuts down entirely, much like a computer that feels overloaded to the point that they can no longer process all the open programs and internet browser tabs that are demanding our ability to manage everything all at once.

In this state, the dorsal vagal portion of the parasympathetic system — related to how we handle overwhelming and stressful social situations — is activated.

Experiencing hypoarousal creates a feeling of immobilization, much like being encased in a block of ice. When we default to this state, we are unable to make empowering choices and simply submit to people or situations around us. All ability to think suddenly locks up as our focus instead hones in on feelings of shame, depression, and hopelessness.

This can lead to emotional and cognitive numbness as a result of a lack of energy, and manifest as depersonalization, dissociation, and other aspects of withdrawal, such as avoidance and shielding. This level of self preservation is naturally programmed into our amygdala — or the unconscious parts of our “lizard” brain that rely on survival. Learning and processing new information isn’t possible, either, because we become so focused on the negative associations with whatever it is we are feeling.

It’s important to remember that when trauma is involved, our bodies are merely reacting in a way that is trying to protect us, and move us through extreme discomfort as efficiently as possible.

When it comes to handling stress in your own life, think about how your own body reacts to certain thoughts, memories, or experiences. With self-compassion, understanding, and the help from a trusted therapist, it’s possible to widen your personal window of tolerance and learn effective strategies to stay grounded and aware of how your body is feeling in the moment.