How to Develop an Affirmations Habit
In the famous words of Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” Personal affirmations and positive self-talk are some of the most powerful tools we can use right out of the box, in the context of mental health and cognitive therapy.
Whether we are in talk therapy with a trusted professional, or are simply going about our regular old every day errands, the way we speak to ourselves absolutely matters!
Simply put, affirmations are positive mantras or quotes that encourage you to start your day on the right note. How does it feel when somebody compliments your outfit, or something creative you made with your bare hands and put a lot of work into? It makes the day just a little brighter!
Affirmations work the same way, except instead of a friend or stranger complementing us, it’s us turning that love or compassion inward. It gives us the necessary kick-start we need to feel good and keep our dopamine engines revving. When we truly believe in ourselves, the results are the same.
Utilizing positive messaging to foster a compassionate inner outlook can come in many forms, be they written words taped to the bathroom mirror, or a guided meditation. Typically, affirmations are formulated as strong “I am…” statements we can use to rewire our brain into a mindset calibrated for personal success, fulfillment, and positive outcomes.
But how exactly do we go about this process? Let’s break it down.
First, find an affirmation you would want to have about yourself even if it's not believable yet. This might feel like you’re taking a giant leap beyond what feels comfortable, and that’s okay. Take your time in this initial phase, and remember to practice self compassion.
Next, think about what you believe about yourself right now (but only quickly — don't stop here too long!). Focus on finding the smallest hop toward the big affirmation you would like to believe about yourself, something tolerable for you to think about believing even if you don't believe it yet.
Then, try saying your new affirmation to yourself and check in with how it feels. How did you react to this statement? Did you notice a change in emotion or in your body? Sometimes placing a hand on your chest and your stomach area at the same time helps you connect to the reaction in your body.
Say your affirmation again. Take notice of your reaction a second time.
Once you've tried this new affirmation and have noticed that your reaction is tolerable, set a timer for one minute and repeat the affirmation over and over again. If your mind wanders to a different thought, gently bring it back to the affirmation.
All of this may feel uncomfortable at first, and that is perfectly normal to experience. By sticking with this exercise, you will be forming a new habit of sorts, in the form of self-compassion. Getting used to something new takes time, and it’s important to gently remind yourself of that.
When you’ve settled with your new affirmation, repeat this exercise once every day until the affirmation you are working with feels tolerable and true. Build familiarity by saying it over and over, and stay aware of your body's reaction whenever you repeat the affirmation to yourself.
Developing an affirmations habit is integral for people interested in exploring the benefits of cognitive behavioural therapy. In the same way CBT helps us mindfully look within, these affirming statements are imperative to understanding our deepest wants and desires in the face of the negative inner beliefs and feelings.
The fact is, we teach people how to treat us, based on how we treat ourselves. The first person to cheer you on should be the person you look at in the mirror. The power of affirmations, alongside the benefits of CBT, can help in more ways than just learning to love yourself in a fundamental way.